From: Krunoslav
Lawyers should never ask a Mississippi grandma a question if they aren't
prepared for the answer.
In a trial, a Southern small-town prosecuting attorney called his first
witness, a grand motherly, elderly woman to the stand..
He approached her and asked, "Mrs. Jones, do you know me?"
She responded, "Why, yes, I do know you, Mr. Williams.
I've known you since you were a young boy, and frankly, you've been a
big disappointment to me.
You lie, you cheat on your wife, and you manipulate people and talk
about them behind their backs.
You think you're a big shot when you haven't the brains to realize you
never will amount to anything more than a two-bit paper pusher. Yes, I
know you."
The lawyer was stunned! Not knowing what else to do, he pointed across
the room and asked, "Mrs. Jones, do you know the defence attorney?"
She again replied, "Why, yes, I do. I've known Mr. Bradley since he was
a youngster, too.
He's lazy, bigoted, and he has a drinking problem. He can't build a
normal relationship with anyone and his law practice is one of the worst
in the entire state.
Not to mention he cheated on his wife with three different women. One of
them was your wife. Yes, I know him."
The defence attorney almost died. The judge asked both counsellors to
approach the bench and, in a very quiet voice, said:
"If either of you f***ing idiots asks her if she knows me, I'll send you
to the electric chair."
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